What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How do you go about getting invited to an orgy?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why do people who aren't trans feel the need to put pronouns next to their name or picture? It seems so cringeworthy to me, to participate in that SJW paradigm of thought, like they are a spineless person who just goes along with the trends.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why cant I sleep even tho I am sleepy? I am not anxious or worried but my body just doesn't want to. I've been awake for almost 2 days and feel sleepy but I cant sleep. My doctor said its anxiety related but its not. Is this normal?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Have you ever regretted not hitting on a older women?

TEXT:

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I am so tired of ignorant people like you calling us far rights, why democrats is so educated, they take things from their own mouth, you guys are totalitarian party?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What can I do after 18 cops raided my home, without a warrant, seeking a person who didn't live there and wasn't there, and also went through all of my stuff? The person wasn't on the lease, and they didn't see him enter.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Do Republicans want to ban books and decide what your kids can and can’t read?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Do you feel uncomfortable when you come across cross dressers?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What is an appropriate response to someone saying "merci" in French?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why does my vagina smell sort of fishy/musty days after sex when my boyfriend ejaculates in me? There isn’t any itching or burning when urinating, so I don't think I have BV. It just doesn't smell like me.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why do Democrats never produce a good argument for why Trump was a bad president?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …